A Choice Unknown
by Emilx311
Summary: Aragorn made a choice many years ago with no idea of what the consequences could be. When he takes the evenstar back from Legolas he has no clue that he has just made that same choice, but will the elf be able to survive it this time? Past LegolasxAragon


** A.N. **Okay so I was watching two towers the other night and when Legolas gave Aragorn back the the evenstar and I went 'Hey what if this was a symbol for Legolas giving Aragorn up to Arwen'. As you can tell this turned out slightly differently then what i had originally planned, but I still like it. Really sad fic, just as a forewarning. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! This is my first LOTR fic and I want to know what you think!

**Length:** 1,441

**Rating:** T

**Warnings:** Lots of angst, slash, mentioned of sexual encounters (nothing graphic) and implied character death

**Disclaimer:** *Watching DVD* Aragorn still ends up with Arwen so, nope I don't own it (yet)

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><p>I walked silently as ever. On the outside I knew that I appeared calm, if a bit saddened, but on the inside I was dying. This was nothing new. I'd been dying for a long time, years really. Honestly I was surprised that I had not already entered Mandos' Halls. I knew that elves faded should they lose the one to whom they have given their heart, but I had no clue that fading could take so long.<p>

I've known my days were numbered since I secretly gave my heart away to a mortal man barely older than a boy who was in that time known as Estel. I knew all along that our love could never work, but it was impossible for me to resist the pull towards him. I seduced him; I am shamed now to admit it, but in the end he took me as a lover.

What followed were the best years of my life. We enjoyed life together, hidden in Mirkwood's trees, or out roaming abroad. We spent all our time in each other's company and as time passed I fell harder than I ever had before. I did not even realize that my heart would belong to him until it was too late for me to take it back. We exchanged no lover's vows; he never knew how deep my feelings truly ran. Still the longer we stayed together the more I was able to hope that maybe _maybe _this could work, that maybe he really could fall for me, that maybe we could stay together forever. Just when I was truly beginning to feel comfortable that what we had would last he met _her_. She was everything I was not. A delicate lady to a hardened warrior, long black locks with delicate curls to my straight golden tresses, a noble nordor to a simple sylvan, and most importantly with her he could continue his line.

I know that he never meant to hurt me. He truly did not know that he was in position of my heart, and I could never find it in me to tell him so, knowing the pain it would cause. And though and elf may only love once it is not so for man. Please do not misunderstand me; I do not resent her for what she did. She was as ignorant as him, and how can I curse her for the same weakness that I myself possess. How could I have asked her to resist temptation that I could not?

I can remember well the day I found out about them. Estel had left Mirkwood to visit his father's home of Rivendell. He had been due to return two weeks prior and I was beginning to become quite concerned when his letter arrived. I do not remember the exact wording, but his meaning had been clear. He had during his time away been told about his true name _Aragorn_, and his destiny. He was to someday become king of men. But that was not all, no he had also fallen in love.

The first pains were ironically the worst. It felt like my heart had been shattered in my chest, and the pieces were being ground into dust. Since then it has receded into a dull but constant ache with sharp bursts, or it had.

I can hear those words repeating over and over in my head. 'He took a little tumble off the cliff'. For a single glorious moment after those words all the pain stopped. 'Was it over?' I had wondered. 'Had his death stopped the process?' Then came a new pain, worse even than the initial one. I felt as if my chest were on fire, I could barely breathe it hurt so much. And at the same time I felt empty, as though part of my soul had been ripped away. I was not numb, no far from it, but the pain felt too intense for tears, and so none fell from my eyes.

Once we reached the fortress I pushed my way past everyone. I had no wish to hear their condolences, nor did I wish for them to see my death as I was certain it would be the opposite of what a warrior's death should be. The evenstar, her symbol was still clutched in my fist. I paid no mind to the way its sharp edges dug into my palm. It was almost comforting, for the first time I had a physical reminder of my burden.

I cannot tell you how long I stood there for. I had lost all sense of time after those words. It could have been minutes, hours, or even days. I could feet my strength leaving me slowly, but surely. I was grateful for it, grateful that after all these years it could finally end. Closing my eyes I was about to give into the blessed oblivion when I heard the commotion coming from the gate.

My eyes snapped open. I knew that I should just let go, knew that that would be the easiest thing to do, the least painful thing. But I was never able to resist you. I knew I had to see you first, to know that you were truly alive.

Cautiously I make my way back through the crowds. I wish you to be alive, never think I don't, but it would be so much easier if you were not. If you were dead and it was over…I can hear Gimli's voice now, and your answering question. A sharp burst of pain hits when you do ask about me, even as a friend. It does not last long however and when it leaves it takes with it part of the fire. When you finally step into sight the rest disappears, leaving behind an o so familiar ache.

"Le ab-dollen" I say in way of greeting. It is both a truth and a lie, you are late, far too late to ever be able to save me from the death I know is coming, and yet you are just in time to postpone it. I quickly glance over your body cataloging your injuries. There are quite a few, and you are covered in blood, but none are truly serious.

"You look terrible" I add unable to stop a smile at these words. You look terrible indeed, but gloriously alive. 'Alive and forever hers' my hand clenches around the gem it holds at that thought reminding me of my burden.

Reaching forward I deposit it into your palm closing your fingers around it as mine were moments before. You clasp me on the shoulder and I can see the gratefulness in your eyes. You look so thankful that I saved this trinket, _her_ gift to you, the symbol of your love. Another sharp pain strikes my chest, it feels as though my heart was just stabbed, but I give no outward sign of this.

"Hannon le" you tell me, though the words are hardly necessary. I feel my smile change, a hint of sadness coloring it. In a way I feel as though your choice had just truly been made, and suddenly I understood. I have been able to survive all these long years because somewhere deep inside I believed you would come back to me. Never had you made your choice known in person, and so never had I truly believed it completely. But now, now although she is not here you have made it exceptionally clear which one of us you care for. I realize fully now that you shall never be mine.

I will fade now, not as quickly as I would truly like perhaps, but soon I will be in the Halls of Waiting. I have pledged my life to this quest, to your quest and I will complete it. I will live to see you restored to your rightful place, this I promise you. And I will live long enough to see you pledge your life to her.

And after all this has come to pass I will return to my father's forest realm where I may die in peace. 'Perhaps' I think to myself with slight mirth as you walk away 'perhaps you shall never truly know of my death. Perhaps you will simply think that I have sailed with the others.' I turn away to hide the single tear that runs down my cheek. I hope that this will be so, for I still love you no matter what it has done to me, and as long as you are happy I can accept my fate

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><p>ab-dollen: your late<p>

Hannon le: thank you


End file.
